Where I Was

The flu (because it feels like the flu, I ache all over and I'm exhausted) has really got a grip on me.  I can only hope that my sweet friend, Kris, who I had a Coke with last night, doesn't catch it.  Kris, if you're reading this, I want you to know I tried not to breathe on you or cough in your general direction or anything.

Today is 9/11.  We all know what that means.  It seems like just yesterday we suffered a terrorist attack at the World Trade Center in New York City.  As the years pass we get farther and farther away from this event, and I'm afraid that my children may grow up, not understanding how significant this was, and how it changed the face of everything, from how we travel to how we view other countries.  Innocence was lost that day.  

We lived in Fort Worth and I was pregnant with my now 13 year old daughter.  Wow.  Time flies.  We had this wonderful room in the back of our house.  We loved that room.  It was a small, sunken living room with hardwood floors and French doors and a fireplace.  We had the tv back there and a sofa, and it's where we hung out on the weekend.

The tv was on that day.

And once they started rolling the footage I remember standing there with my hands bracing my aching back and not believing what was going on.  I mean, it was a joke, right?  But it wasn't a joke and when the towers fell I remember feeling this sense of panic.  No one knew what was going on.  No one knew if the attack was isolated to that one location or if this was war.  Those were thoughts that went through my head. I remember calling my mother, crying, and I remember her repeating that everything would be okay, over and over.  I think she was just as distraught as I was.  I remember panicking because of my unborn daughter.  What would I do, bringing her into a world as crazy and chaotic as the one we were seeing on national television?

Of course, as information trickled in we learned what happened.  We kept the tv on all day.  

My daughter is 13 now and she's smart, sassy, and has a definite idea of who she is and where she wants to go with her life.  It's almost impossible to win an argument with her.  She reads history text books and she's also read the constitution multiple times.  

She gives me hope, because kids like her are the future.

But I also think of the way things were before the towers fell, and I have to be honest.  I want the America back that existed before this happened.