Slowing Down

So, here's the thing.  I looked back through some of my recent posts and realized that some of them were actually sort of depressing.  And if that worried anyone or gave anyone cause for concern, I apologize.

I had this epiphany today, and it came about in the most subtle of ways.  I met a friend at Starbucks. This is a "new" friend, someone I haven't really sat down to talk to before, and we were discussing our sons (her son has autism, too), and what we do for a living, and she casually observed:  Wow, you do a lot.

And it surprised me a LOT when she said this.  Because I don't think I do enough.  But I thought about what she said on my way to take a picture of a house (because, by golly, I am always on the clock), and I wondered if what she said was really true.  And then I wondered if maybe I do too much.  I think about it and I can't remember the last time I was at ease, or didn't feel stressed, or had so much fun I talked about it for days, or felt truly, deeply happy in the most uninhibited way.  And that's bad.

And then I remembered this article I read.  It was about how to start a new personal fitness program.  It didn't tout one program over another, it just gave general advice on what to do and not do, and I remembered that there was one piece of advice that seemed strange at the time.  It said that if you find yourself crying frequently or having mood swings, or becoming irritable, it means that you are actually exercising too much and you need to slow down.

So maybe the best thing I can do for myself, that any parent of a special needs child or not can do, is to slow down, just a little, and allow yourself time to enjoy life.  Sometimes simply existing and letting go is not a waste of time and is actually truly, vitally, necessary.