Take Back Your Life

I deviate from the subject of Logan tonight after a conversation with a close friend. 

Every now and then I like to revisit this one particular subject, because it's near and dear to my heart.  It amazes me that in the year 2016, women are still manipulated, abused, and treated like lesser creatures.

Do you know the signs of emotional abuse?  Could you recognize it if you were in an emotionally abusive relationship?  Some of the signs are really obvious:  if someone is in your face, yelling and screaming and telling you how worthless you are, then obviously, you are in that type of relationship.  Some of the other signs are more subtle, and because they don't all happen at once, or they may not occur every day, it's easy to let them go, make excuses for abuser.  So, here are the signs.  I get this list from http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse, but you can find similar lists on other sites that deal with abuse.  I'm not going to list all of them here, but the major ones are pretty good indications that you need to examine your relationship more closely:

1) You are too sensitive!!  They will say this if you have a problem with something they've said.

2) They will try to control the money.

3) Apologies?  Please.  They will never apologize for anything they've said or done, and if they do, it may be sarcastic, or they may turn the tables on you and try to make you feel like it's your fault.  They are incapable of owning any wrong they've done.  It's much more comfortable for them to use you as a scapegoat, because admitting that they've done wrong destroys the image they have of themselves.

4) They make fun of your goals and dreams.  Do you get excited about something, and try to share it with them?  Do they immediately shoot it down, or tell you why it's a bad idea, or poke holes in your logic on purpose?  Do they have problems sharing your enthusiasm about anything?  

5) Sarcasm is the by-word.  Don't get me wrong, some people are sarcastic by nature, or cynical, and that's just their nature.  But if they use it on you often, especially in order to make you feel stupid, then that's a problem.

6) There's a lot wrong with you.  At least in their estimation.  They like to point out your flaws, correct your behavior and even your moods, bring up past mistakes over and over so that you can continue to feel guilty, or otherwise treat you as if you are a child.  

7) They are uncomfortable with any negative emotions that you may express.  In other words, you're not allowed to ever be angry with them, but they can express anger at you.  And if you're depressed?  They may tolerate it for a little while, or make fun of it, or tell you it's time to "stop".

8) They will embarrass you in front of other people.  For real.

9) Sometimes, they're nice.  It keeps you off-balance, right?

10) They cannot tolerate criticism.  Try to point out something they're doing to you, and they will come back with ten things you did to them, as if this justifies their behavior.

Does this sound like your relationship?  Then I am going to also tell you this:

There is nothing wrong with you.  At all.  

So why don't you leave?  Why don't the thousands of women trapped in these relationships leave?

Because there are kids involved.

Because he might change.

Because you deserve it.

Because you might not find anyone else, ever again.

You can probably find a million reasons, right?  Because change is scary.  Standing up for yourself is scary.

So I am also going to tell you this:  You don't deserve this.  You are a daughter of God.  Take back your life.  Even if it means all you've got is the clothes on your back, get out of there, leave, make a new life, go to the police if you need to.  Just get out of it.  And live.  Free.

National Domestic Violence Hotline:  1-800-799-SAFE (7233)