How it Really Is

I have to write about this now, because there are too many people that I love who are touched by this.

Anxiety.

Even the word makes me tense up.

Today I had a family member who went to school and experienced a prolonged panic attack.  She finally went to the nurse's station when the panic reached its peak and she felt like she couldn't breathe.  The nurse at this school said:

*You are choosing to act like this.

*If you don't go to class you won't graduate and you will not succeed in life.

*You are choosing not to breathe through your nose.  (FYI, this family member had a sinus infection to boot).

It really appalled me how off the mark this nurse was.  Even more appalling was the fact that a school nurse, in a school with a population of 1700 students, didn't have a clue about the way anxiety works, or what happens to a person physically and emotionally when they experience a panic attack.

Let's look at it this way.

What are you the most afraid of?  Picture it in your head.  It can be anything. Spiders, snakes, creepy old men, clowns (sorry, had to throw that one in), public speaking, being alone, heights, whatever.  Picture the thing in your head that induces the most panic and aversion for you.  Do you have that picture?  Good.  Now I'm going to tell you this:

Hey, reader, that thing you're picturing?  You are choosing to be afraid of it.  You are choosing to be afraid of clowns, or spiders, or whatever.  So this is your fault, because it's your personal choice.  You could get over it if you wanted to.

Doesn't make much sense, does it?

We don't choose to be afraid of something.  Fear is a natural chemical reaction that happens in our brains.  Ever hear of the fight or flight mechanism?  This is related to it.

People with anxiety have brains that are in a constant state of arousal. They are always considering the what ifs. Throw their schedule out of sync, present them with an unknown, and it gets worse.

People with anxiety do not choose to be anxious any more than you choose to be afraid of whatever it is you're afraid of.  Because anxiety is related to chemical processes in the brain and particular thought processes, anxiety is not something that can just be shut off.  This is why there are medications to help people regulate anxiety.  Notice I said regulate.  There are also therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, that can teach people different ways to think about situations, if they are engaging in self-destructive or negative thought processes.

But no, they do not choose to be anxious, and telling someone in the throes of a panic attack that they are going to fail at something will only induce more anxiety. And that doesn't make a lot of sense either.  If someone was in the middle of a heart attack, would you berate them about eating too much bacon and tell them that they were never going to be able to run a marathon?  No.  There's a time and place for everything.  The middle of a crisis is not the time or the place.

It's my wish that anyone who has any kind of interaction with someone who has an anxiety disorder educate themselves about it.  It's not hard.  Google it.  Read up on it.  Go to www.themighty.com and read some personal stories from first person points of view.  But for crying out loud, don't punish the one who suffers.  Don't assume anything until you get all the facts. Dealing with the world may seem cut and dried to you, and if you're that kind of person, then God bless you and may you give thanks forever because you have it easy.  There are people out there who don't function that way, and who cannot think that way, and some things that wouldn't challenge you are the worst kind of challenge to them. So wise up, do your research, and show some compassion.  It will pay off one day.