This Is Autism

Have you ever done the following:

Sat on your bed and tried to paint your toenails while your seven year old rolls around and giggles and proclaims:  I want to go to sleep! (It can be done. You learn something new every day.)

Carried a child out of a church building while they are passing the sacrament (bread and water) while the child yells, "Hoo hoo hoo, monkey, monkey, monkey!!!"

Been whipped on your bare arm with a rubber snake because your child "earned" it as a prize at school.

Tried to speak to office staff at your child's school only to have your child blow a raspberry at them and state, "I want to go home."

Have your child pull on you and hit the sides of the buggy and throw a fit because you are at Wal Mart and they want you to buy...drumroll please...plastic PVC pipe from the plumbing section.

Put a ladder up against your backyard shed...not so you can get to the top of it, but so your kid can climb down off of it.  More than once.

Ran out of spices in your kitchen because your son decided to "cook".

Put a lock on every single window and door in your house.  Not to keep people out. To keep your son in.


Gone to bed completely and utterly exhausted and thought, I can't do this anymore.

Woken up in the morning and thought, This will be a piece of cake.

Looked up at heaven and said, Why me?

Looked up at heaven and said, Thank you for giving him to me to take care of.

Rejoiced because your son said the word, Yes and the word No.

Experienced joy because your son kissed you on the cheek and said, I wuv you...voluntarily, for the first time in years.

Gone up to a school and raised Cain because your son was not being treated right.

Written a letter to the school because you were so impressed with how your son was treated.

Owned at least ten vacuum cleaners.

Given your child six baths in one day.

Thought, to heck with it, and didn't clean your house for a month.

Thought, I can do better than this and cleaned it every day.

Watched the same documentary, every night for two months because it's the only thing your son will watch and it makes him go to sleep.

Gone into a health food store and asked for a valium supplement for your son because you are desperate and you know they sell such a thing.  Had the store clerk look at you with pity while you struggle with your child and say, "I think you need it."

Thought you would, literally, go insane.

Figured if you haven't gone insane by now, then it isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Looked at your child and thought, if he makes that noise, or does that thing, or pulls on me, or climbs on me one more time, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Looked at your child while he's asleep and thought, I have never seen anything so perfect.

Thanked God every day for the things your son teaches you, and prayed that you will have something to teach him.

This is autism.