How Did We Know?

Another question I often get from people is "How did you know that Logan was autistic?" or "What made you first think that there was a problem?"

Autism begins its onset in some children as early as two years old.  Logan progressed up until around that time like any normal child.  His birth was miraculous to me and my husband but uneventful medically.  He interacted with us from the get go and would coo, smile, and respond to our facial expressions like any baby does with his/her parents.  Eventually he started talking.  He would say "mommy" and "drink of water" and other things. Everything appeared to be fine.  He started walking when he was supposed to.  He showed no interest in potty training.

A couple of things happened that were warning signs at the time, though I didn't really put it together with everything else until later.  In my room I had set up a playpen, and I would put him in it so I could keep him "corralled" while I gave my other two kids a bath.  I was in the bathroom with them when I heard a thump, and I ran to see that he had climbed out of his playpen and fallen on the floor.  He cried and screamed and I checked him all over to see if anything was wrong.  I couldn't find anything.  His wrist was a little red but I could flex it and move it with no change in his behavior, and then he fell asleep.  I thought he just scared himself when he fell.

The next morning his wrist was red and swollen.  It was fractured and he had to have a cast.  I was a little dumbfounded...shouldn't the pain have been intolerable to him?  I have since learned that Logan has an unusually high pain threshold.  It's not that he doesn't feel pain.  He does.  It just doesn't seem to register with him like other children.  For instance, we can't let him run his own bath.  He will only turn on the hot water and it will be so hot I can't stand it.  It doesn't appear to bother him.  And this is common in autistic children-an unusual de-sensitivity or ultra-sensitivity to pain.

The other thing that happen was a behavior that appeared almost involuntary.  He was sitting in my lap one day.  Suddenly, without warning, he threw his body backwards, really hard.  It almost broke my nose.  I was irritated and thought it was just some random thing...but it continued to happen, over and over again.  Repetitive, involuntary movements...like hand-flapping or rocking...again, a hallmark of autism.  He also began to make a lot of high-pitched nonsense noises, almost like a bird.

When I put these things together they were cause for concern.  I also realized he was losing words.  There were things he had learned how to say that he wasn't saying anymore.  So I made an appointment with our local pediatrician.  I didn't realize at the time that it would take more than a year to get him diagnosed and that it was just the beginning of a very long, unending journey.  And I'll write more about all the tests we had to go through in a different blog.

Some people might read this and think of how sad it was, that I started out with a "normal" child and "lost" him to autism.  In some ways, it is sad, and there are times when it is lonely, scary, frustrating, or just plain overwhelming.  No one plans to give birth to an autistic child. There are other days when I can't stop laughing, because the things he does are so unique and so humorous.

I don't look at Logan and mourn the "son I might have had".  I look at the son I do have, and I feel very blessed.