How It's Going

A lot of people have asked me how it's going since Logan returned home, so here it is in black and white, unvarnished, the ugly truth.

It's going well.

If I was the kind of person who thought that mental disorders were like light switches that could be placed in the "off" position permanently, then I would be in a lot of trouble.  I think that what has changed the most is the way that we deal with it.

The old adage that "children don't come with an instruction manual" is true, and I think when you have a kid that is about to enter the teen years and battles multiple disorders, it's truer than true.  The realm of child psychology is still in its infancy, and we have a lot of catching up to do.  We have now exhausted every option with Logan.  We've come to the conclusion that one more specialist, one more therapist, one more medication, isn't really going to make a lot of difference.  That sounds like we're giving up but what we battle for him has no cure.

So we have to change the way we do things.  A child like him needs "superstructure".  Strict, simple rules that address problem behaviors.  Strict consequences and rewards that are put into place and not thrown out the window just because it's hard to maintain.  Someone asked me yesterday how long I thought I could "keep that up".  I wasn't sure what to say.  All I could think was, if this is what works, then this is what you do.

And usually, I'm the kind of person that takes a more "eternal perspective" on things.  I worry a lot about what's going to happen to Logan when I can't take care of him anymore, or if we have another stretch of months when his behavior spirals out of control in spite of our best efforts.  But for now, one day at a time is serving us well.  We consider each day, separately, instead of looking at this long stretch of life when things are just bad.  Because life is not all bad.  It's good too, and we are focusing on the good things, and sometimes that's the only way to do things.