The Future

I have a few things on my mind this evening.

The first is that I read a blog post by Elizabeth Bastos entitled "Why I Decided to Stop Writing About My Children".  It was a very insightful post, and she made some very valid points.  You can read it, here:  http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/07/29/why-i-decided-to-stop-writing-about-my-children/?smid=fb-share&_r=0

Chiefly, one of the points she makes is that writing about the details of her childrens' lives could be construed as an invasion of privacy.  She also states, "My children didn't give me permission to tell their stories".

This was so gut-wrenching for me to read, really.  Logan didn't give me permission to write about him because he can't.  He will, in all likelihood, be unaware, for the rest of his life, that his mother chronicled his journey through media. 

I would be lying if I said that I hadn't asked myself these same questions:  Is it really okay to write about him, and what goes on in our lives because of the things he struggles with?  Is it ethical? 

I've heard from both sides of the table on this.  One mother, who shares circumstances similar to mine, said she thought about writing about it, but decided not to "put herself out there".  I can understand her sentiment.  Putting yourself out in public like this, in a very raw, real way, opens the door to a lot of criticism, and that's something we always want to protect ourselves and our children from.

But then I heard from two very dear friends today, who happen to run a local theater.  And one of them remarked that some people derive a lot of comfort from hearing about other people who have similar struggles. The other one remarked about how he read my blog, and seemed surprised that I would consider stopping once our son goes to live in a different setting.

The fact of the matter is, the whole intent of this was to let other people in similar circumstances know that they weren't alone.  I have had many people who are raising special-needs children come to me and say how happy they were to know that they weren't alone, that someone else was experiencing the same thing they were.  I've commiserated with other moms over the best way to keep a child from escaping from a seat belt, the intricacies of the special ed program, what kind of locks to buy to keep your child from wandering out the front door, and how to de-escalate a meltdown. 

The other purpose of writing about this so bluntly is because there is no other way to foster awareness.  Special needs parents tend to stay in the shadows.  We become prickly, we keep to ourselves over time, because we become so used to navigating life in a certain way that we forget there are other ways to do it.

Eventually, I will stop writing about this.  I am at a point in my life where frankly, I am worn out.  I am tired.  My heart is tired.  I feel I have illustrated, as much as can be illustrated, what this is about and how it can bless a family and also raise issues in a family.  I feel like awareness has been achieved, as much as it can be achieved through a blog. 

But as I told my dear friend JaceSon today, This does not mean I am going to stop working for these people.  I feel like I have spent twelve years learning about something that some people never have to touch in their lifetime.  I feel like there is so much suffering, and need, and room for growth, where this is concerned.  I feel hopeful about the future, and my plans are huge.  I don't know if they will come to pass, but Logan makes me want to try.  All of the children, and their families, that I have gotten to know over the past few years, make me want to try.  Here's to the future.