Flying Blind

I sound so gauche, because this place has been there forever, but this weekend I drove Logan out to Glen Rose and we discovered Heritage Park.

Heritage Park is proof that it doesn't take a lot to make me happy.  Seriously.  Tall trees and lots of shade?  Check.  Historical buildings?  Check.  The Paluxy River?  I'm in.

I think that no matter where I go, the Paluxy River is always going to be one my favorite places.  There's something magical about it.  Maybe it's because I grew up listening to my Grandma's stories, which inevitably had the phrase "we had to cross the Paluxy to get there" in them.  Maybe it's because wading in a river and being able to see the bottom of it is a novelty in Texas.  Maybe it's something I can't put my finger on.

Taking Logan anywhere these days fills me with a sense of desperation.  I look at him and know that he will be better served in a different environment..  But I also look at him and know that the time I have when we can take off on these kinds of trips...little day trips to get him (and me) out of the house, are numbered.  Everything is changing this year.  And it's so scary.

This past Sunday someone spoke in our church.  This man is a pilot and he spoke of a time when he wanted to land his plane, and the instruments weren't working properly.  He said that the first rule in aviation is "fly the plane", that sometimes pilots panic, looking through manuals and searching for solutions, and they forget to just fly.  The other thing he said was, Trust your training.

I feel woefully unprepared for this particular challenge in my life.  Nothing makes sense to me right now.  I feel like I am flying blind.

The only constant in my life is God.

My biggest hope is that one day, in the next life, Logan will come to me and we will talk about this, and he will tell me, you did the right thing.