I Done.

When Logan gets really agitated, he gets really loud.

So what, you say.  Most kids get loud.  Kids are noisy.

No.  You don't understand.  I probably need to see an ear doctor.  Seriously.  If you walk to the end of the street...you can hear him. He whoops and hollers.  He screams.  He yodels.  He freakin' ululates, my friends, at supersonic levels.

Well, today, he was doing that.  I can't remember what set him off.  I think he went outside, and there was an issue with a mud puddle.  More on that later.  Anyhow, he got upset and I was having a really hard time calming him down.  Whenever he gets like that, I take him into my bedroom.  I take him in there because the walls are blue and the coverlet is mostly the same shade of blue and the curtains are the same shade of blue, and they are blackout curtains.  I can have him lay down and turn out the lights and then voila!  he's in a low sensory environment.  Did I plan for the room to be all blue?  No.  Given my way, I would have: red.  black.  cream.  And gray.  But that's beside the point.

So he's in there, and he's upset, and he's noisy...and then he starts playing with my hair. (I have really long hair.  It's become a mane.  Something must be done.)  And then he says, "Fix mommy's hair."  By the time we were at that point, I was at my wit's end.  Nothing pushes my buttons like repetitive, high-pitched noises, noises that reach decibel levels previously undiscovered by mankind, noises that I have no control over...and he knows this, which is probably why he does it, at least partly.  But he said "Fix mommy's hair."  I grabbed onto that like a lifeline.  I got my brush and my little son brushed my hair.


Do you have any idea how sweet that was?  He brushed it and brushed it and then he flopped down and said, "I done!"

Logan always says "I done" when he's done with whatever activity he's doing or he's tired of it and can't go anymore.  He said, "I done" and by then he was calm and I hugged him and told him what a great job he did and that made him happy and best of all, the noise had stopped!

There are a lot of days when Logan is difficult to control and it's not his fault.  There are many days when I want to flop down and say, "I done!"  It's true.  Some self-righteous little prig somewhere may read this and think, how can she think  that about her own children???  I've learned not to care what people think, at least for the most part.  I will never be done.  You don't have a Logan in your life, and think of the day he will graduate high school and go on to college and have a life.  You have a Logan in your life, and you just know that life will be a series of moments like getting your hair brushed...like light breaking through the clouds on your darkest days...and you learn to treasure those moments for what they are and wait out the ones that aren't so great.