The End is Near

I'm not a "doomsday prepper".  I don't own 1,000 cans of pork and beans and I haven't dug an underground bunker in my back yard.  BUT.  Something happened the other day that made me think that perhaps a little more preparation might be a good idea.  I never like taking things to extremes and I hate assuming the worst...but sometimes, people who assume the worst are the ones that don't get burned in the long run.

In the course of my job I had an opportunity to talk to someone who was in Northern California.  We got on the subject of weather, and she talked about how the drought there was affecting them.  She went on to say that her father owned a cattle ranch, and that because of the drought, they were having to slaughter six months early, which meant they were losing thousands and thousands of dollars.  "Your food, " she said, "Is about to get very, very expensive, because they are going to have to make up for what they're losing right now."  

Not many people actually stop and think about where food comes from.  It sounds stupid, but we've gotten so accustomed to drive-throughs, carry-outs, and grocery stores that we don't stop and think about what it takes to get the food to where it is.  Someone had to grow it.  Someone had to make it. Someone had to load it onto a truck.  Someone had to drive the truck to get it to a distribution center.  Someone else had to go to the distribution center to pick it up and bring it to a store.  (I used to work in a grocery distribution center; I know.)

What happens if at any time, there is some sort of catastrophe along the way?  Think of food production as a giant spider web, and you're the spider at the center. Think of farmers, cattlemen, truck drivers, grocery stores...they're all the strings that hold the web in place.  Have you ever seen what happens to a spider web if you wipe out one of its supporting anchors?  It becomes unstable.  Eventually, it collapses.  The spider has to rebuild or go somewhere else and start over.

The point of food storage and preparation is not, necessarily, to survive the apocalypse, although many people are preparing for that.  It's to survive the personal catastrophes that sometimes rear their ugly heads in our lives.  If, for example, you live along the coast, and a Hurricane decides to blow through town, then that is a personal catastrophe.  It won't affect the entire United States, but it might interrupt the flow of goods and services to YOU.  So you need to be ready for that.  If you lose your job, and it takes longer to find employment than you thought...again, preparation can get you through that.  I know of one man who was unemployed for a year and his family survived off of their food storage.  If a cattle raiser in California has to slaughter his animals due to lack of water, thus losing tons of money and then having to charge more to make up the difference...then food will still be available.  It just might cost more than you want to pay...or more than some people CAN pay.

If what my colleague in California says is true (and I have no reason to believe she would make it up), then now might be a good time to get ready.

Quote of the Day

It's the Little Things

The "check engine" light has come on in my van and the power steering is whining.  Because of this, we took it to the shop yesterday and left it there.

Want to know how I felt?

Secretly relieved.

Having the van in the shop during the summer means that I have this excuse:  "Can't.  Van's in the shop."

It's like having permission to goof off.

It means we are housebound, for a day or two, which means movie time, swimming hole time, play outside time, don't go anywhere or stress about anything time.  For a mom, it's almost the same as turning off your phone.

Did I mention my phone's in the shop too?

I'm kidding.  Sort of.

Happy Summer, y'all.

Almost Vegetarian

Recently I went through this phase where I just stopped caring what I ate.  So, I started drinking chocolate shakes and diet Cokes again, and eating burgers and all kinds of junk.  And the pounds started to pile back on and I felt miserable.

I knew I was doing it because I was depressed, and because I had lost my focus.  I've never been a skinny girl, but I've tried, more often than not, to take care of myself, because I have four responsibilities.  And, of course, when you have a special needs child, you have to live forever...but that's a different blog.

So, anyhow, the other day I got this cookbook offer through Bookbub. It was for a book called "Feast" and it was a vegetarian cookbook by Sarah Copeland.  It promised meals that would actually leave you feeling full...unlike many vegetarian recipes that leave you feeling dissatisfied and still a little empty (Where's the beef???)

I decided to give it a try, and the first thing I did was buy a blender and make a kale shake.  Sounds gross, right?  I won't share the recipe because that wouldn't be fair to Ms. Copeland...but suffice it to say that it was good.  Surprisingly so.  I had it for breakfast.

Soon after that I was trying different oatmeal recipes, vegetable pot pies, eggplant parmesan, and paella, to name a few.  And I started to feel better.  

It wasn't a miracle cure for weight loss, but that wasn't what I was looking for.  What it did do was give me a greater awareness of food.  It made me stop and ask myself, what's actually in this thing that I'm putting in my mouth?  After about a week or two of doing this, I had a chili cheese dog.  It was disgusting.  I also had something else...I can't remember what it was, except that it was some kind of dessert...and it was horribly sweet.  Not delightfully sweet, but sweet in a way that I could taste the synthetic stuff that was in it.  

Now, lest you think I've turned into some kind of health nut, I want to make it clear that I love to eat and I enjoy really good food.  The point of this is not to tout a vegetarian point of view or to say that hamburgers are evil.  It's to say that developing a greater appreciation for the foods that are in season, and the foods that Heavenly Father actually created for us to consume, can really pay off in the way we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I challenge anyone to try this, within the limits of what they can physically handle...give up the diet drinks and sodas, give up sugar. drink lots of water, add more vegetables than meat to what you're eating...and be surprised.

Quote of the Day

"I am not who I once was...We become who we must to overcome pain and make things right again."

-Sir Gorrann, Queen of Hearts:  The Wonder by Colleen Oakes

Etiquette on the Spectrum

This afternoon, my daughter and I went to pick up a friend of hers.  After said friend got into the van, my daughter introduced Logan this way:  This is Logan.  He has autism.

I completely understand why she did this. She was anticipating out of the norm behavior from her brother and wanted to head off any misunderstandings before they happened.  But, the introduction actually upset Logan, who started yelling.  He hates the word "autism".  His reaction whenever he hears it confirms his feelings.

So I started thinking about the number of times I tried to do the same thing...head off misunderstandings with an explanatory introduction, and realized today that I've been completely and utterly wrong.  This would be the same thing as saying, "This is Susie.  She had her legs amputated." or "This is Joe.  He's blind."  Because what you're doing, when you do something like that, is making the person's disability part of their identity, and that's just plain wrong, because it's not who they are.

I've also had a lot of people, when they go to speak to Logan, look at me first as if to say, Am I doing this right?  Do I talk to him?  What do I say?  What if he yells at me?

So, this entry is being written to set the record straight. There are certain rules to follow when you're dealing with a person on the autistic spectrum, and some of them coincide with the way you treat anyone with a disability.  This is what you do:

You treat them like you would want to be treated.  

Wow.  Glad I cleared that up.

Seriously, though.  Here's the deal.  Don't assume, that just because someone has limited or no speech, that they have a limited or non-existent IQ.  They may utter things that make no sense to you.  Trust me when I say that they may actually know what they want to say, but what comes out of their mouth is completely different and it's a huge source of frustration to them.   A lot of people (kids, adults, teens, tweens) on the spectrum understand that they are different and know that they have limitations socially.  So, when speaking to a person on the spectrum, use their name, tell them yours, ask them how they are, do not talk down to them as if they are a two year old (unless they are, in fact, two), do not speak about them as if they aren't in the room, and you may even offer your hand.

They may not take your hand.  Some people on the spectrum hate to be touched.  Don't be offended if they ignore the gesture. Above all, don't grab their hand and shake it hard, or grasp it firmly. This is counter-intuitive to what one might do in a social situation, but doing any of those two things might actually cause them physical pain if they are extra-sensitive to touch.  This also means that clapping them on the back, hugging them, or squeezing their shoulder is off-limits.  If you're not sure, ask first.  May I give you a hug?  May I shake your hand?  Lots of people don't enjoy being touched, and that includes "normal" people.

Some people on the spectrum also don't like large crowds of people.  They find it distracting and too noisy. My own son, Logan, has extra-sensitive ears and can only tolerate certain types of noises.  Don't be offended if the person on the spectrum actually gets up and leaves.  They're not ignoring you or trying to be unfriendly.  They need to leave in order to calm down.

When hosting a social gathering, be sensitive to any guests on the spectrum.  For instance, at a wedding reception, a guest may bring a child that is on the spectrum.  There may be an adult on the spectrum.  Sometimes it's hard to tell because guess what?  Autistic people look like everyone else and it's hard to know what the issue is until you get a full explanation.  So, if you are hosting a social gathering, be sensitive to any guests that may be dealing with this by providing a place that they can retreat to if the crowd becomes too noisy or the music is too loud.  This may mean pointing the way to a spare bedroom with soft lighting and a closed door or putting a couple of chairs outside away from the gathering.  Whatever it is, it needs to be a place where they can go and get control of sensory over-stimulation before rejoining the group.

Finally, how do you talk to someone on the spectrum?  Just speak to them like you would a "normal" person.  You will, undoubtedly, have some interesting conversations. Please, don't raise your eyebrows or roll your eyes if the conversation takes an unusual twist that doesn't make sense to you.  Go with the flow.  Be polite.  Above all else, be kind.  My family members and closest friends set a great example. They speak to Logan like they would speak to everyone else, enjoy conversations when he's willing to have them and ignore behavior that falls outside the norm.

Now that I've put in my two cents. I'm going to go back to how this started.  Sometimes, especially if you have a child with behavioral issues, an explanation is necessary.  The week before, we picked up another friend from a different house and Logan was having a hard time in the van.  He was making a lot of noise.  As the friend's mother walked up to the window, I got out of the van to introduce myself.  I pointed out my daughter Abby, and I said, "This is my son, Logan."  He continued to make noises and I quickly, (and quietly) said, "He has autism. That's why he's behaving this way today."  

Most people are very understanding.  I don't worry so much about the ones who aren't. They are few and far between and I am ashamed to say, I used to be one of those people.  Now I'm not, and I'm glad.  

Now, dear readers, I've got a three year old begging me to read to her.  Until next time.

Revisions

The other day I started reading a book.  This is kind of a big deal.  I'm an avid reader, but during the school semester I don't read for fun because it takes too much time away from what I need to read for classes.  Once school is out, the books I've accumulated all semester on my Kindle (thanks, Bookbub!) get my full attention.

So I started reading this book, and it's called Queen of Hearts by Colleen Oakes.  Sounds like a chick fic, right?  I suppose in some ways it is since the lead character is a female, but it's a version of a fairy tale.  It's the Queen of Hearts' story, from Wonderland, and how she became that way.  It's the making of a villain.

Villains are hard to create sometimes in fiction. A lot of people view villains and heroes as just that..black and white, opposite poles.  But nothing is further from the truth.  Every villain has a story.  Every villain starts out somewhere, opening bright eyes to a new dawn, gurgling with delight and flailing their fat fists in the air.  Every villain starts with innocence and hope and need. 

It's what happens on the journey that makes them what they are.

Sometimes it's that very naivete that leaves the villain (or at this point, potential villain) vulnerable to darker forces.  Perhaps the character has an overwhelming need for adoration or love...but goes about trying to get it the wrong way.  Perhaps they crave appreciation, only to never be taken seriously.  Perhaps the people they love most disappoint them, time and again until eventually, they take in so much pain that something in them becomes a little broken.

In any case, somewhere along the line they wander off the path.  They make choices that aren't so great. Once they succumb to one mistake, it's easy for them to succumb to another, and then another...and soon they have swallowed so much darkness that they become it.  You are what you eat, after all.

Is there any hope for such a person?  In fiction, perhaps not.  That is entirely up to author.  A villain serves a purpose in a story.  You cannot have light without darkness...and the villain makes the hero what he is, too.  What is a hero, without a foe to vanquish?  What is summer, without the dead of winter to make us dream of it?  

Thankfully, life is not a fairy tale.  Villains don't have to stay that way...and if, up until this point, your mistakes have defined you, then perhaps it's time to rewrite yourself.